I wish that I could stay forever this young (a.k.a. happy 2014)

January

December

Well goodness gracious sakes alive. It's nearly 2014. WHAT HAPPENED.

This has been a year of years. I changed and I learned and I defined who I really am. And who I am in Christ. The Payton from a year ago is completely different from the Payton today (and it's not just the hair). This has been a defining year for me, as an individual, as a follower of Christ, as a girl. Anything and everything you could imagine was packed into twelve months (it was certainly a year of firsts), and though I'm a bit dazzled and bewildered, I have come out of 2013 changed for the better. Am I sad it's over? Not really, but I'm glad it happened.

Maybe you've heard me say it before, but I feel like an entirely new person, yet I'm the same I've always been. I'm still Payton who likes to be called Petie; still that girl who dreams of being a writer and traveling the world; still that crazed individual who sings musicals way too loud and thinks book are equivalent to food; still a beautiful mess who has a hard time wrapping her mind around how much Jesus loves her. But my whole outlook on life has changed. Life is no longer a day-to-day plod, hoping I'll do something of value and wishing for more. Life is an adventure; I am grabbing every moment and opportunity, jumping at the chance to simply live. Away with the mentality that staying in one place doing the same thing is enough. Gone is the girl who's holding back.

This year I discovered what it means to grow up. (Some days I'm not sure I like growing up. To Neverland, anyone?) I realized how much things will change. Change and I had to come to a reckoning, and I think we've decided to embrace each other now. It's funny how the mind works, isn't it? It's so fickle. Some days I never want change; I just want to turn away and slam the door on it. Let's face it, sometimes change is scary. But other days I'm knocking on its door and begging it to come. Will 2014 bring change? You bet it will, but isn't it exciting to not know what that change will be??

And guys... God is so good. I can't believe how much I have grown in my relationship with Him just in the past two months or so. I am learning just how important a deep, personal relationship with Him is, and He is showing me what it looks like. It's been incredible. I'm excited to read the Word. I look forward to my study time. The Lord is constantly drawing me closer and closer to Himself, and every day I am more in awe of His love. I am far from having a perfect relationship with God (is that even possible?), but I believe I am in the midst of building a solid foundation as a young adult. And no matter how many times I screw up, He still chooses to love me. What a mighty and awesome God He is.

So what does 2014 hold for me? Heck, how am I supposed to know. But I do know a few things I would certainly like to see happen... I want to travel. I don't know where and I don't know how, but my oh my, I am praying for this to happen. I just want to go. I want to finish writing a novel. If I will just buckle down and write until my hands cramp, this one is totally achievable. I am really craving to do more with music and singing, whether it's recording or just doing a little coffee shop gig. But more than anything, I just want to join in the work the Lord has for my life, and I know I won't be disappointed. With Him, it's always an adventure.

Almost done, ya'll. I couldn't end this post without telling you what my word for 2014 is: more. Yes, at the risk of sounding greedy, more is my 2014 word. Because whatever I'm doing, I want to do it to its fullest capacity, living to the full. More work, more new experiences, more opportunities, more firsts, more music, more writing, more loving, more life.

Happy 2014, guys. :)

I tried carrying the weight of the world

But I only have two hands

I hope I get the chance to travel the world

But I don't have any plans

I wish that I could stay forever this young

Not afraid to close my eyes

Life's a game made for everyone 

And love is the prize