12.02.2013

it's kinda crazy, really.


You know those things in life you think you know so well until you try to define them? You stammer and stutter, and sentences that don't really mean anything tumble out of your mouth as you attempt to put meaning to such a familiar idea. Finally you have to stop and ask yourself, what does it mean exactly? It's as familiar to you as the moon, but defining it is like trying to get to the moon.

And oftentimes, the definition is something you just can't describe. More like a feeling or emotion, rather than a tangible string of words. You can taste it, like the flavors of your favourite family meal bursting on your tongue. You can see it as clearly as though it were a human being standing in front of you.

And you can feel it, because let's be honest, certain things are usually tied to some poignant memory (or more often than not, a significant person) locked deep in our hearts. The pangs of emotion, pleasant or no, knife into your soul every time, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. All those memories blind you with their abrupt appearance, sometimes they'll even take your breath away. You are filled with an intense longing to revisit that memory in real life or simply be in the same room as that person, but you're not sure why or how. You just get hit with a sudden crash of feeling, and the words to describe it just don't come. Maybe they can't. Maybe if they did, the feeling would suddenly sound cheap, the enigmatic magic of it all stripped away and scattered to the winds like fairy dust.

So anyway. That's how it is for me when I try to describe missing you.

- for emily

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my goodness girl. You are so talented! This was simply beautiful. How did you get in my brain? Errr. Heart? :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. YES. THIS WRITING STUFF. YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT OK.

    ReplyDelete
  4. the part about it sounding cheap if you tried to put it into words--dang. I hadn't thought of that before, not in so many words, but I've definitely felt that. this is beautiful and nostalgic and kinda happy and kinda sad and very true. love you, dearie.

    ReplyDelete
  5. fyi I just keep coming back to read this because it's really very good. okay thanks bye.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments are the sugar to my iced tea. Which means they make my day.